NAMI Walk

Today I participated in the National Alliance for Mental Illness 5k walk at Magnusen Park in Seattle with my mom and some friends from school .  The walk itself was no where near 5k as we finished in about a half an hour and were walking fairly slow.  But, it was a beautiful day in Seattle and I was able to enjoy it among friends.

After the walk, my mom and I had lunch at Uwajimaya and did a little shopping.  When we got back to my house, we did hours of yard work.  Now, my yard looks a lot better than it did previously.  We even went to the store and got some annuals to add some more color to my garden.  All I have to do now is get some vegetables to plant.

Mother's Day

For Mother's Day, I went up to spend the weekend in Ferndale with my parents.  On Friday, I met my mom and grandma for lunch in Ferndale at the thai restaurant.  It was delicious as always.  After eating, we went to the nursery and got some annuals for their garden.  We spent the afternoon at my parents house enjoying the sunshine.  For dinner, we went down to CJ's Beach House in Birch Bay.  The tide was out and the view was really pretty.

On Saturday, I volunteered to help my mom at the annual plant sale at Hovander Park for the master gardeners.  I helped with the checkout in the morning and assisted with the tomatoes, where my mom was working, in the afternoon.  After a long day in the sun there, we went back to the house and barbecued hamburgers for dinner.

On Sunday, Mother's Day, my dad and I made breakfast for my mom.  After eating, I did some work on my car that included changing the oil, replacing the fog light, trimming the ends of my roof rack and washing the inside and outside.  I am really happy with how clean it turned out.  It's nice to drive a clean car.  After cleaning my car, I also vacuumed my mom's Jeep.

In the afternoon, my grandma and Ed came over.  I had asked my mom what she wanted for dinner and her reply was, "barbecued hot dogs".  Perfect, I can totally do that.  So, for dinner, we had hot dogs, potato salad, chili and jello.  It was nice to be able to spend the weekend with my parents.  It was nice to get away for a while and I am really glad we had amazing weather.

Things are looking up...

Overall, things are going well today.  I have been in the market for a new motorcycle and put down a deposit this afternoon for a 2008 Yamaha FZ6 with just over 2,000 miles on it.  I can't wait to pick it up tomorrow afternoon and start riding again.

Life v Death

Wrote this yesterday in class:

Nobody knows my pain.  There is too much suffering going on within me.  I wonder how long I will last...

I wish there was an easy answer to life.  I just don't know where to go from here.  Things are so hard right now...  I just am trying to make it through the day.  Everyday is a struggle.  Everyday I am battling between life and death.  Do I want to live my life or choose death and live my life for someone else?  I can go back to my old life, but that would be choosing death.  I just don't know if I am ready or able to live my life.  It's something I haven't done for so long, if ever, and that is what scares me.  I don't know who I am.  I have been playing the role of someone else for so long, I don't know how I can be myself.  I don't know who I am.  I have always tried to be the person others wanted me to be.  I don't think I ever developed my true self.  I don't know who that person is.