Me

I often times wonder if I will ever learn to accept myself.  I wish I could wake up in the morning and not hate the person looking back at me.  I have been trying to be aware of what I want.  For so long, I think that I made choices based on what other people wanted for me, or what I felt like I was expected to do.  I think I am so scared of letting people down and being a failure that I am confused about who I truly am.  I am trying to learn to live for myself and not for other people so I can figure out who I am.  I hope that with this insight, I will be able to accept myself better.

So, what is it that I like and what I want?  I don't know and that is the hard thing.  I just want to be happy so that is my focus.  Everyday, I am trying to make the most of my time and be happy.  But, that is still hard.  Now, I am trying to scrapbook more which I enjoy and I am stopping all my excuses for lack of motivation so I can go to the gym daily.  I know when I work out, I am happy.  I enjoy exercise and it makes me feel good so I should do it more.  That is my goals for now.  I just want to learn to accept myself and not depend on other people to make me happy.  I  know that there is a long journey in front of me, but at least there is some hope that one day things will be better than they are today.