I fear I may have made the biggest mistake of my life...
I don't know why I am so sad tonight, but I am. I am sad and scared. I am scared of being alone and hate walking into an empty house. I know that part of this ordeal will be learning to live independently and be happy with myself. I know that I need to work on my self confidence and self esteem as these were two major issues during my marriage. I know that I was unhappy for a while being married, but now fear maybe that was as good as it would get. How do I know it was the marriage that was making me unhappy and not just me?!
I wish there was a way I could see into the future. I wish I could see possible outcomes to various options and choose the one that works out the best. But, that is not the way life works. I know that I have to live with the decision that I have made as too much has been said and done, that there is no way to turn back. I am just so scared and feel so alone right now.
All we can do is go with out gut. I wish we could know if in the future we will be stoked we made huge decisions... but we can't and hindsight will always be 20/20.
ReplyDeleteIt might be good to make a list of all the reasons why you chose to leave. Be detailed. Save it for your eyes only. When you start to second guess yourself, or loneliness starts to whisper half truths in your ear, read that list and be confident in your decision and the woman that you are.
If that doesn't work, call me. I can remind you who you are... and I'm your biggest fan :)
It might not be easy any time soon... but it WILL get better. You WILL be happy again. I promise.