Me

I often times wonder if I will ever learn to accept myself.  I wish I could wake up in the morning and not hate the person looking back at me.  I have been trying to be aware of what I want.  For so long, I think that I made choices based on what other people wanted for me, or what I felt like I was expected to do.  I think I am so scared of letting people down and being a failure that I am confused about who I truly am.  I am trying to learn to live for myself and not for other people so I can figure out who I am.  I hope that with this insight, I will be able to accept myself better.

So, what is it that I like and what I want?  I don't know and that is the hard thing.  I just want to be happy so that is my focus.  Everyday, I am trying to make the most of my time and be happy.  But, that is still hard.  Now, I am trying to scrapbook more which I enjoy and I am stopping all my excuses for lack of motivation so I can go to the gym daily.  I know when I work out, I am happy.  I enjoy exercise and it makes me feel good so I should do it more.  That is my goals for now.  I just want to learn to accept myself and not depend on other people to make me happy.  I  know that there is a long journey in front of me, but at least there is some hope that one day things will be better than they are today.

Northwest Plant and Garden Show

Yesterday was my annual trip up to Seattle to go meet my mom and go to the garden show.  It had snowed most of the week, so I was a little worried the weather might hamper our trip, but we got lucky.  There was a crisp breeze, and it was definitely cold, but overall, it was a sunny day in Seattle.

Andrew decided to drive up with me and have lunch with us before having to go home.  It was a huge step as not only was my mom there, but also my grandma and her husband's two daughter in-laws.  I have to admit, I was a little nervous about him meeting my grandma as that makes it a little more serious. I knew he would make a good impression, as he is a total people person, but now it's more official that we are in an actual relationship.

He insists on make faces in pictures; he thinks it's funny.

We had lunch at a Mexican restaurant in Pacific Place and browsed around a little before heading into the show.  The show was neat.  As always, the display gardens were amazing and the vendors always have some interesting stuff to look at.  We were there for about five hours before leaving after a long day on our feet.  Below are some of my favorite gardens:

After the show, we headed up to Lynnwood to have dinner at Red Lobster.  It's one of my grandma's favorite restaurants and since they don't have one in Whatcom County, we decided to treat her to a special dinner at her favorite place. 

Kitty Update

So, the kittens both were sick, but have now gotten over their colds. They are also getting huge.  I took them to the vet for their last round of shots and they now weigh over 4 pounds.  I can't believe how fast they are growing.  I also can't get over how Clubber likes to sleep on his back.  I think he is watching Zeus too much.

New Doors

So, the kittens LOVE to play in my office and started to make a mess of my scrapbook material.  I have had doors ready to installed for years, but never felt confident enough to have them installed.  Finally, I got the courage to rip out my old frame and put up my new doors.

I love how they turned out and can't believe that I waited so long to put them up.

Chamber's Bay Walk

On Friday, my mom and I decided to take Zeus for a walk around Chamber's Bay.  The weather wasn't be best, but it was really pretty there.  I hadn't ever been there before, but heard other people talk about it, so we went down there.  It was really fun and I hope to go back sometime when the weather is nice!

Rocky and Clubber

So, it is fun having two kittens in the house.  Clubber has had a little cold the last few days so has been sleeping a lot.  He is still sneezing and has a little runny nose, but seems to be getting better.  If he isn't bettr by tomorrow, I may have to take him to the vet again.  Since Clubber is sleeping most of the time, most of my observations come from watching Rocky.

Here is a list of what I have observed:
* Rocky likes to hide, however, he isn't really good at it.  His hiding is fine, but as soon as you walk into the room, he starts to purr and gives away his hiding spot.
* When kittens sleep, the fall...A LOT.  Almost every time I have see them sleeping at least one of the kittens falls off of whatever they are sleeping on (the couch, cat tower, chair, etc).
* Rocky is a little ADD (or maybe ADHD).
* Zeus thinks Rocky is a dog, or at least he treats him as a dog.  He doesn't quite understand why Rocky doesn't want to smell his butt.
* Zeus likes to push Rocky off of stuff.  Earlier, Rocky was on my lap and Zeus nudged him off with his nose onto the floor so he could sit on my lap.
* Rocky likes to sleep on his back.
* Every time I am on the computer, Rocky attacks the screen.  He also likes to attack mirrors, my feet, Zeus, the fringe on my afghan, etc...

Here are a couple pictures I have taken in the last few days as well as a link to the video I took of Rocky and Zeus playing.

A cute video of Zeus and Rocky playing.  There are a couple other videos I posted on YouTube, but this one is the cutest in my opinion.

Patty's Burgers

Last week a lady in school was telling Andrew and I about a burger place in Tacoma that had a four patty burger.  So, today since we had some other errands to run in Tacoma, we decided to try it out.  When we got there, they had an even BIGGER burger.  On the menu, there was an eight patty burger with cheese, bacon and all the other traditional fixings.  We decided to share the burger and boy, was it BIG.  To say the least, we both ate a lot and brought home two big boxes of leftovers.  It appears that I will be having leftover burgers the next few days.  

Dad's Birthday!

Last week was my dad's birthday.  I know, I have been horrible at blogging.  I am going to blame it in midterms last week and promise to try harder in the future to stay up on my blogging.  It's amazing that the quarter is already halfway over and I can't believe I was actually looking at my the course schedule for the spring quarter.

So, back to my dad, last week was his birthday, so I headed up to Ferndale with Zeus for the weekend.  On Friday night, my mom had made reservations at the steakhouse at the Silver Reef for us, grandma, Ed, Jimmy and Sheri.  It was the first time we were there and really fun.  My dad and I both ordered the baseball cut steak which was really good.  For a starter, I had lobster bisque and the best dessert was banana foster that they flambéed table side. And, for coffee at the end, they provided freshly pressed coffee with two types of crystal sugar stir sticks, cinnamon sticks and two types of grated chocolate to customize your drink.  The coffee in itself made for an amazing dining experience. Overall dinner was really good and I would definitely go back there again for a yummy steak.

The rest of the weekend was spent hanging out with my parents.  I had some homework I had to to as it was midterms and I needed some things on my car fixed that my dad took care of for me.  The best part of the weekend came on the way home.  I had been thinking of getting a friend for Zeus as I spend more and more time out of the house and thought it would nice to get him a playmate to keep him company.  In Stanwood, I always see the place N.O.A.H. Animal Adoption on the side of I-5.  So, I decided to stop and see if they had any dogs that would be a good playmate for Zeus.

Long story short, I adopted two 12 week old kittens.  They are brothers who recently came to the shelter and had recently been neutered and had all their shots.  They were quarantined at first, but are now starting to be more comfortable at the house and with Zeus.  They love to play with each other and are super cute.  Rocky is more outgoing and Clubber is a little hesitant with everything, but they both seem to be adapting well to their new home.

1 week down, 51 more to go...

So, I have survived the first week of 2011.  It also happened to be my first week of school for the winter quarter.  This quarter, I am taking one online psychology class and two sociology classes on campus.  Due to the scheduling, I have to go to school every night (well, Monday-Thursday) for ten weeks.  At least I am getting my major requirements out of the way.  Andrew and I are taking the same classes again this quarter so at least I have someone to go to with questions and to carpool with when we can.

I like all my classes so far.  I am excited for one of my sociology classes as one of my favorite teachers is teaching it.  She is an amazing lady and I am glad that I am fortunate to get her as a teacher again.   This quarter may prove to be hard, but oh well, I like a challenge.

Besides that, not much is going on.  I am trying to focus on working out more and eating healthy and that is helping.  I can feel myself having a better day when I workout and know that I made healthy choices throughout the day.  I also hope when I become a healthier person in general everything will improve.  We shall see as only time will tell...

Happy New Year!

 Happy New Year!  I tried to get a normal picture with Andrew, but that proved impossible.  I rang in the new year hanging out with him at work and people watching.  It's nice to know people because some drunk lady tried to get in my face about something (I still don't remember what) and the next thing I knew I had a big native and a Samoan by my side.  They said no one should mess with Andrew's girl...how cute.  Overall it was a fun night.  I did realize that I missed the memo to wear red and dress slutty.  Now, it's time to start a new year and see how things turn out.  I will just try to live one day at a time and word towards making the most out of everyday.  The agenda for today: pick up prints at Walmart for scrapbook, walk Zeus and make a healthy dinner.  That shouldn't be too hard, right???